Vegeta And A Baby
by Cranberryfriend
Summary: When Vegeta has a cold, Krillin offers to babysit the kids, as well as Vegeta, while Bulma goes shopping. However, it begins to drive Vegeta up a wall. Marron won't leave him alone, his nose is leaking, the shrimp won't shut up, everyone is catching his cold, and another Alien shows up to kill him. What else could go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Vegeta And A Baby

Vegeta woke up, head burning and chest aching as he hacked out his lungs. Not really, but that's the phrase his wife, Bulma, tended to use. His eyes watered as he sneezed, and he sniffled in disgust as he peeled his aching body out of bed. It was difficult to dress, but he managed to throw on clothes he'd normally wear to train.

His vein bulged when he remembered Bulma's scolding.

"Don't you dare train while I'm gone." She declared. _"You're too sick for that. You'll hurt yourself. Blah, Blah, blah."_

Tch.

He could have easily trained out of spite thanks to the fact she was out of town shopping with Chi Chi and Kakarot, but his foggy brain talked him out of it.

Whatever-if she wasn't here, that meant more house to himself.

No nagging, that's for sure.

Yet at the same time he missed her, which annoyed him. How could he secretly train if he was too busy missing Bulma?

Ugh.

He cringed as he thought back to shopping with Chi Chi and Bulma last time. He and Kakarot carried the bags, and the women screamed their heads off.

But this time, since he was sick, Bulma went without him.

That woman-leaving him behind when he was at death's door.

He sneezed again, this time with an annoying pop to his ears.

What did Bulma call this disease again?

A cold?

Whatever it was, he hated it.

He couldn't remember if they had a similar disease on Planet Vegeta, but either way, he was miserable and angrier than usual. His stomach twisted, his nose leaked, and his head throbbed. What irked the most was the fact one nostril would always be clogged while the other inhaled dry and barely breathable air.

Damn these human illnesses.

He barreled out of his room, suffering from the eternal ache throughout his body. Bulma caught this every once in awhile, he remembered, but normally he didn't notice the symptoms of it. He helped her out, of course, but now he understood why the illness made her so cranky: Colds sucked, and apparently his immune system wanted him dead.

He trudged through the halls of capsule corp and entered one of the kitchens, grunting in annoyance as he dug in the pantry for food. Bulma's parents were on a trip as well, so for once he could let himself die in peace.

"Oh, you're up."

Vegeta whipped around to face the living room, Krillin on his couch, Marron on his lap, and Trunks wrestling Goten to the floor.

Oh yeah.

Krillin was babysitting.

In his home.

For Bulma.

So much for dying alone.

The small monk was wearing jeans and a hoodie that read "Police." His hair was still short and dark, and he wore some slip on shoes with weird designs that Vegeta's sickly brain couldn't register. He grunted at Krillin to show he heard him, then pulled a half-filled box of cereal out of the pantry.

"18 went to pick up your medicine." Krillin stated. "So she'll be here later."

"Medicine?" Vegeta hissed. "Tell her to throw it off a cliff."

"Come on, you've had medicine before."

"Yeah, and I hated it. So if you try to give it to me, I'll dump it."

"You're going to want it eventually."

"I think not."

"You look tired!" Marron shrilled. "I bet you need a nap!"

Vegeta's eye twitched at the girl, but he kept his composure. "Maybe…later…"

"Mister Vegeta looks real gross." She whispered.

Except she didn't whisper quietly, and Vegeta snapped his spoon in half.

Krilling paled. "Oh. Sure, he does. But maybe not say that. It probably hurt his feelings."

"Sorry, Mister Vegeta!"

Vegeta clenched his bowl, and Marron wormed out of Krillin's grip to play with the boys.

"Don't be rough on her." He warned them.

Soon enough they were running around the house, Vegeta pouring himself a bowl of cereal with a scowl.

So basically, his usual face.

"So this medicine," The Saiyan squinted, "Will allow me to train?"

"What? Oh, no." Krillin frowned. "It's not going to work like that right off the bat. I wouldn't train if you're feeling bad."

"But sitting around waiting to die is annoying."

"You won't die."

"It would be better than sitting around."

"You could…come watch TV with me?"

Vegeta scoffed. "I'd rather die."

"Well, you might if you don't take care of yourself."

Vegeta crunched on dry cereal. "I doubt a Saiyan would succumb to this cold as badly as humans do."

"I know you've never had a cold," Krillin chuckled, "But you still think that after all this time? Don't you remember when you got the chicken pox? Didn't Bulma have to-"

"Don't talk to me about the pox." Vegeta snarled. "That woman still hasn't let me live it down."

"Oh. Oh, I bet."

"It's weird."

"What's weird?"

"Not shopping with Bulma. I don't think Kakarot can carry all her stuff."

Krillin nodded. "I bet you miss her too, huh?"

"Who said I missed her?"

"You can act like you don't, but she is your wife after all."

Vegeta's face turned red. "Whatever. I'm taking this to my room."

He grabbed his bowl of cereal and shuffled out, muttering under his breath.

Tch.

Miss her?

Of course he missed her, but how dare someone notice. He hated when they noticed. He crunched on his cereal, thinking now that maybe he should have added milk. But that would have led to more conversation with Krillin, and everyone knew that fool couldn't shut up to save his life.

Listen to him babble?

No thanks.

Krillin was still in the living room, watching as Trunks threw Goten across the room. He flinched, but when the boy got up like it was nothing he decided to let it go.

"Hey, Uncle Krillin?" Goten waddled over. "Can we go outside? There's not much room in here to train."

"Me too!" Marron cheered. "Me too!"

"You two will keep an eye on her?"

"Sure." Trunks said smugly. "She's safer with us than dad is with you."

Krillin's brow twitched. "Very funny."

"So can we go out?"

"Yeah, I guess. Just don't lose my daughter or blow anything up."

They ran out like a pack of wolves, Marron not too far behind.

Krillin flipped through the TV channels, bored with each one that came on. Eventually he found a game show and let it play. It was the usual cheesy theme song, ageless host, and simple questions that only pressured contestants could suddenly forget. He laid back on the couch and scrolled through his phone, chuckling at the group text from his coworkers. He heard a noise in the kitchen, Android 18 plopping a medicine bag on the counter. She was wearing a long sleeved shirt and jeans, tennis shoes squeaking across the kitchen floor.

"I came in when the kids went out." She said. "Here's Vegeta's medicine."

"Thanks, honey."

She came to sit by him in the connected living room, lifting his legs onto her lap. "How's he doing?"

Krillin shoved his cell phone back in his pocket. "As you'd expect. He crawled out of his lair to grab food, then crawled back in."

"Sounds like Vegeta. What are you watching?"

"A game show I think. I'm not really paying attention."

18 smirked. "Did someone get an answer wrong?"

"Yep."

"That's hilarious."

"I know right?" Krillin laughed. "I mean, for some reason they'll know answers to really hard questions, but won't know the simplest ones."

"Well, it looks like someone finally won money. Is Marron having fun with the boys?"

"As always. She couldn't wait to go out."

"Hey, Krillin?"

"Hmm?"

She looked hesitant. "I actually had something to talk about-other then the babysitting or Vegeta."

"Oh yeah?"

18 looked hesitatn again. "My brother contacted me about a weird signal he found on that radio we gave him, so I was wondering if you and Marron would be alright here by yourselves so I can go see him?"

"Oh."

"Or I could bring him here."

Krillin turned white. "I don't think Vegeta would like that."

She smirked. "That's why I suggested it."

"He said he found a weird signal?"

"Those are his exact words."

"And it concerned him?"

18 nodded.

"You can go do your thing." Krillin agreed. "We'll be fine here. Hopefully he found a wrong station and we aren't about to get attacked by more aliens."

"You'll call if there's trouble?"

"Of course."

She glared. "Because if I find out you needed help and didn't call-"

"18, don't worry about us. What's Vegeta going to do other than sneeze on us?"

She smirked again. "Oh, I know you'll be safe from sick Vegeta, but will you be safe from the kids?"

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. If I can handle cleaning chocolate sauce off of both Marron and Goku, I think I can watch two other kids."

"Even Saiyan Kids?"

"Especially Saiyan kids."

She didn't look convinced.

"Look, 18. I'm a dad, I'm a cop, and I'm a martial artist. I got this. I can watch a few kids. There's no need to worry."

"If you're sure."

"I know I'm sure."

18 pecked his cheek. "I'll be going then. I'll pick up Marron sometime tomorrow."

They heard shuffling, Vegeta re-entering the living room with a grunt. "18."

"Vegeta."

The Saiyan dumped his bowl in the kitchen sink, digging in the fridge until he found a water bottle. "I better not have to listen to you two oogling over each other. That's the last thing I need."

"You probably would have," 18 teased, "If I wasn't about to leave."

"Disgusting."

She moved Krillin's legs and rose from the couch. "I brought your medicine, by the way."

He eyed the medicine bag. "I'd rather hangout with Frieza than take that."

"Bulma ordered it." She huffed. "I suggest you take it so she doesn't get mad at you."

Vegeta's vein popped as he snatched it. "Fine. But only to keep that woman sane."

He grabbed a bag of chips and stalked back to his room.

"Should I…help him?" Krillin asked. "He looked pretty sick."

"I doubt he'd let you. I'll be off then."

She planted another kiss on his cheek. "Alright. Run it by me again. What do we do if there's trouble?"

"Come on, 18-"

"Krillin."

"I got it. I'll Call you."

"And if Vegeta acts up?"

"I kick his ass?"

"He'd kick yours."

"Fine." Krillin chuckled. "I'll call you for that too. You know, once this is all over, you and I should go on a date ourselves."

She blushed. "Sure-so long as you wear something pretty."

Krillin flashed his hoodie. "I always do."

"You're such an idiot."

"By law I have to be."

"Bye hun."

"Love you, babe."

She left the house in time for the kids to run back in, picking up Marron with a smile. "You be good for daddy, okay?"

"Okay!"

"And don't make a mess."

"Okay!"

She nuzzled 18's neck then hopped down to play with the boys.

Krillin waved bye to his wife, wincing as his daughter crawled on top of him. "Cartoons!"

Cartoons.

Right.

He changed the channel, Marron starry-eyed when one of her shows came on. Goten and Trunks continued to spar as Krillin's phone buzzed in his pocket.

It was Bulma.

"Hello?" He answered.

"How's the idiot?"

"You mean Vegeta?" He snorted. "He came out to get food, then he came out again for the medicine-plus more food-so he seems to be surviving."

"And my son?"

"He's playing with Goten."

Bulma sounded annoyed. "So you saw Vegeta take his medicine? The fool actually took it?"

"Uh. He walked off with it if that's what you mean."

She mumbled under her breath. "Hey, Krillin…I know you're there to watch the kids…but can you…"

"You want me to make sure he took it?"

"It would make me ever so grateful."

Krillin squinted. "You're being too nice. What's the catch?"

"I can't ask you nicely and politely?"

"You never do."

"He called me asking how much to take, and he sounded real mad. So I figured I'd ask nicely in case he rips your head off. You know? One last act of kindness from me."

"You didn't tell him…he could…read the instructions on it?"

"I told him to, but he's stupid. So go help him or you won't get paid."

Krillin raised a brow. "You aren't paying me, Bulma. I offered to be here."

"Just help him."

She hung up abruptly, Krillin groaning in despair. "It looks like I have to get up. Can you get off my lap, Marron?"

She clung to his chest with a smirk. "Nope! I'll come with you!"

"Come with me?"

"Yeah!"

He frowned. "Eh-you may not want to go into Vegeta's room, Marron. Why don't you stay out here and watch your show?"

"Nope!"

Goten flew past his head, the young Saiyan slamming into a wall.

"Trunks, quit throwing him around." Krillin snapped. "Chi Chi's going to bury me alive if you kill him."

"Aw, he's fine." Trunks snorted. "He likes it."

Sure enough, Goten jumped up as if he was never even thrown. "Do it again, Trunks! Do it again!"

"Fine," He sighed. "But no more wall throwing. Tone it down. I don't want your dad getting mad."

Trunks paled. "Oh, you're right. Sorry, Krillin."

"I'm going to check on your dad. You two stay alive while I'm gone, alright?"

They saluted, and he carried Marron into the hall. Once they made it to Vegeta's room, Marron pounded on the door herself. "Let us in!"

Krillin flinched as the door opened.

Vegeta looked sicker. "What do you two want?"

"Bulma wanted to know if you took your medicine."

"That crazy woman called you?"

"Yep."

"Damn it."

"Well?"

Vegeta crossed his arms. "My head hurts, so I didn't…do it."

"He has an owie." Marron giggled.

"I'll tell you what," Krillin sighed. "Bring it out into the kitchen and I'll do it for you."

"Whatever. If it will please that beast I call a wife."

They went back to the kitchen, Goten flying across the room for the fifth time in a row. "Ten points for me, Trunks!"

Before Krillin could scold them, Vegeta beat him to it. "Stop being loud! Go outside before I call your moms!"

The two scrambled towards the door, Marron waving goodbye to their terrified faces. Krillin set her down and took a look at the prescription. "Oh. I see. You could have filled the cap up for this one. Bulma must have wanted to keep it easy."

"Easy?" Vegeta scoffed. "She did that to make me look like an idiot."

"It's not like its hard."

"What was that?"

"Uh-I said I'll-I'll help you do it anyway." Krillin stuttered. "It's what she's not paying me for, after all."

"What? We're not paying you."

"That's the joke."

"It's not funny."

"Never mind."

Vegeta jumped, looking down to see Marron attached to his leg. "Your child is clinging to me."

"Huh? Oh, Marron, don't do that. You're hurting his leg."

"What? She couldn't hurt-"

Marron let go with a "Sorry!" and frolicked towards a coloring book.

Vegeta scowled. "That didn't hurt my leg."

"Yeah, I know. But Marron would have gotten upset if I told her you were mad. But you can forget about that. Here's your medicine, courtesy of Bulma's rage."

Vegeta chugged it down, face twisting in disgust. "I'd rather die slowly than drink this again."

"Too bad, because it says here you have to take this twice a day."

"Twice is too many. Why can't I drink it all at once?"

"That's-that's not how that works. Please don't do that."

"You're a cop. Can't you change it?"

"I patrol the city? I don't make medicine laws?"

"That's stupid." Vegeta barked. "I'm going to take a nap, so keep the other midgets away from me."

"I doubt that will be a problem."

"Whatever."

Vegeta left the kitchen and stormed back into his room, the taste of that awful medicine still in his mouth.

How long were colds again?

A week?

He snorted.

It was probably for the best that Bulma left. He didn't want her to catch it while pregnant, but then again, he forgot he wasn't supposed to mention that yet.

That's right.

Bulma Briefs was pregnant, and even though he refused to admit it, Vegeta was terrified.

The only other person that knew was Chi Chi.

Bulma wanted to surprise everyone with a party, so he kept his mouth shut like she asked and stayed out of her way. She insisted her shopping spree with Chi Chi would require getting supplies, but he knew better.

She was getting clothes.

Vegeta groaned, because that meant eighty more pairs of clothes for her to toss onto the floor each morning. It also meant baby clothes-and diapers-lots of diapers.

He clenched his fists.

They were doing fine the way they were.

Who needed another kid?

Could he even handle another kid?

Whatever.

He had plenty of time to freak out about that.

Now, it was time to die.

He crawled into bed, wishing he could work out. But here he was, lying in bed, tasting shit. He eventually closed his eyes, much more tired than he realized as he fell asleep.

()()()

The doorbell rang to Krillin's dismay, and he opened the door for the pizza guy, cash in hand. Thankfully, no raging sick Saiyan barreled out of the walls.

"Two pizzas for…Krillin?"

"Yeah, I'll take em."

The pizza guy looked confused, as if Krillin were a child left home alone, but he took the cash without question. Krillin carried the pizza boxes inside, closing the door with his foot. The kids swarmed him like dogs, so much so that he almost fell over.

Trunks called him out. "Hey, don't drop the pizza!"

"Maybe if you kids-I don't know-back off-I'd be able to do this?"

"We can take it." Goten offered. "We can fly it to the table. Can we? You wanna Trunks? Can we Krillin?"

"Well, if you want I gue-"

They took it from his arms, the two young Saiyans flying it onto the table. Goten flew to get plates and Trunks yanked some juice and water out of the fridge.

Well there ya go.

Saiyans-even Saiyan kids-will do anything for food.

Krillin turned around to fetch Marron, but he paled when he couldn't find her. Within seconds, he was searching the halls.

()()()

Vegeta stirred in his sleep, weird images invading his dreams. He couldn't tell if it was a nightmare, but he certainly didn't like it. He finally woke up, but only because of the pressure on his stomach. Something-bounced on him?

He opened his eyes with a grunt, horrified to see Marron sitting on his nauseous stomach. She slapped his arm. "Hey! Wake up! We got pizza!"

His first instinct was to throw her off, but then he remembered she was human, and she'd die, and that Krillin had an overprotective wife.

So that was out of the question-no matter how badly he wanted to do it.

She pointed to his face. "Icky!"

Then she laughed about it.

The brat _laughed_ about it.

Krillin charged into the room, face whiter than a ghost's. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry."

He plucked her off him, the terror on his face growing. "Listen, Vegeta, don't hold it against her. She's too little to know any better. I'm very sorry."

Marron laughed again. "Icky."

Vegeta didn't think Krillin's face could get so white. "M-Marron, don't say that. Say sorry."

She stuck out her tongue then buried her face in Krillin's chest.

"Get out of my room." Vegeta growled.

"W-will do. Wait-we have food though-"

_"Out."_

"And out we go."

He carried her back into the kitchen, pulse racing as she crawled out of his arms to get to the pizza.

"Wow Krillin." Trunks said with a mouth full of pizza. "You look like you died again."

"I woke up Vegeta." Marron grinned as she took a sip of juice. "He got mad."

Trunks let out a laugh. "No way. She woke up my dad? And lived? No wonder you look so scared."

"Please don't tell my wife about this."

"I don't know…what do you think, Goten? Maybe if we get ice cream for dessert?"

Goten grinned. "With sprinkles."

"Ice cream!" Marron shrilled.

Great.

He was getting blackmailed by kids.

"I think you kids are hyper enough without it."

"Oh yeah?" Trunks said smugly. "So I can tell 18 you weren't watching your daughter?"

"That depends on if I can tell your dad about how you broke your mother's favorite vase?"

"How-how did you know about that?"

"It doesn't matter-what matters is that Bulma still wants to know who did it."

Trunks turned red. "Fine. Sorry."

"Although, I suppose…a small bowl of ice cream wouldn't hurt ya."

"Wow. Really?"

Krillin nodded-which was a mistake, because after hours of two Saiyans jumping off the walls and Marron shrilling louder than a bird, he was exhausted.

Goten and Trunks were passed out on top of each other, and Krillin was back on the couch, Marron fast asleep in his arms.

Thank goodness.

Chasing a perp was one thing, but three sugar-filled kids?

Agony.

"Where's that food you mentioned?" Vegeta's voice spat.

Krillin jumped at hearing it. "Geesh, don't scare me like that. I could have woken up Marron."

"Why are they on the floor? Don't they know we have beds?"

"Huh? Oh them? Well-"

"Never mind. I don't care where they sleep. Where's the food?"

"Fridge. Where else?"

Vegeta glared, but dragged himself towards the fridge. He found the pizza and slapped some on a plate. "Where's the medicine your wife brought?"

"Uh. I think I put it in that cabinet. Do you need help finding it?"

"Tch. I don't need help finding things in my own house."

He opened the medicine cabinet with an eyebrow raise. "Except Medicine. Only medicine."

"Look to the right."

Oh.

There it was.

Vegeta poured it in the cap like Krillin had earlier, taking another reluctant swig.

He shuddered.

What was terrifying was it tasted worse the second time. If he was going to die soon, this would be how. Now that he thought about it, this medicine would be great for torture.

He almost dropped the bottle when a phone rang.

Krillin's cell-phone-which was on the counter.

"Hey, Vegeta, if you could throw that over-"

Vegeta picked it up. "Hello?"

"Or answer it?"

"Vegeta?" Bulma asked. "Why are you on Krillin's phone. Let me talk to to him."

"Why are you calling him instead of me? Are you two making fun of me?"

"Don't be a baby. I figured you'd be asleep."

"I was!" He yelled. "No thanks to you!"

"Oh, so its my fault then?!"

"Of course it is!"

"Is-is that Bulma?" Krillin asked. "Could you throw it-"

"How dare you!" Bulma shrilled loud enough for him to hear. "I sent you medicine and everything! How dare you get mad at me for checking up on you!"

"Checking up on me?! You're the one that left me here!"

Bulma chuckled. "Oh. I see. You're mad because you miss me."

Vegeta's face reddened. "You crazy woman. You've only been gone a day. Why would I miss you?"

"Because you loooove me and you're sick and lonely and you loooove me."

"Shut up!"

"Love! Love! Love!"

Vegeta blushed. "Quit trying to embarrass me!"

"Are you going to confess your undying love to me or are you going to give Krillin back his phone?"

"Neither."

"Vege-"

He hung up and slammed it on the counter. It rang again, Krillin staring at it helplessly.

"Don't answer that." Vegeta snarled. "It's Bulma begging for attention."

"Come on, Vegeta, you can't expect me not to answer her."

"Whatever. You're trapped under that kid. You won't answer it."

"That's not fair."

Vegeta grabbed his plate of pizza. "I'm going to go die in my room. Keep all those kids out of it."

"What about-"

"Even Trunks."

He stormed out of the kitchen, pizza in hand. Krillin watched his phone bounce along the kitchen counter. There wasn't much point in talking to Bulma when she was angry. He'd call her back.

Right now, it was time to get everyone to bed.

()()()

Vegeta woke, pizza plate empty, and stomach growling. His nose was stuffy, his eyes were puffy, his head ached, and he was hungry.

This was getting annoying.

He flung himself out of bed, muttering under his breath as he stalked into the kitchen for the eighth time. He was thankful to find both the kitchen and living room empty, which meant it was late enough that everyone had gone to bed.

Finally.

Some damn peace and quiet.

He opened the fridge, opting to eat more pizza. He shut it after grabbing a plate, Marron smiling up at him from the floor. He almost screamed, the little girl pointing at his food.

"Can I have some?"

Can she…

Have some?

"You." He scoffed. "Where's your dad?"

She stared at him blankly, then pointed again. "Pizza?"

Ah.

This kid…was an idiot.

He handed her one, convinced that would get her to leave, but she took a bite right in front of him. "Water?"

"Water?"

"Yeah, water!"

Ugh.

Vegeta got her a plastic cup-beacause this kid wasn't about to break one of Bulma's glasses-and handed her a cup of water.

"There. Now go find your dad."

"Nuh uh."

She sipped her water.

Vegeta scowled.

He certainly wasn't going to carry her back. Who knew when this kid's mother was going to barge in. She'd probably think he was about to strangle her.

"I'm going to bed." Vegeta growled. "You should too."

Marron nibbled on her pizza, staring him down with bright blue eyes.

The balls on this kid.

Vegeta stared back at her, trying to scare her away, but it only made her laugh, and she ate more of her pizza.

This was annoying.

He wasn't going to lose a stare down to some small blonde cherub.

He took a bite of his pizza and charged down the hall, Marron in tow.

Which room was that idiot in?

Marron sat on the floor while Vegeta searched the guest rooms.

"You can't give me a hint on where your stupid dad is?"

She giggled. "No."

And she ate more of her pizza.

"Tell me where he's at or I'm taking that back."

She shoved the rest in her mouth, laugh muffled.

Maybe she wasn't an idiot.

Either way, Vegeta's rage was boiling.

He finally found the room where that cop was sleeping and shook him awake. "You need to put a leash on that kid."

"Wha-?"

"A leash. On. That. Monster."

Krillin blinked sleepily. "A what..on what?"

Vegeta grabbed his collar. "Tell. Your daughter. To leave. Me. Alone."

Krillin squinted, obviously half-asleep. "Marron…leave him alone."

He laid back down.

"Oh no you don't."

Vegeta shook him again, this time Krillin rattled enough to understand what was happening. "V-Vegeta?"

"Your daughter is driving me up a wall. She keeps following me."

"What? What are you talking about? She's here in bed."

"Don't pull that with me. She-"

Vegetas eyes widened, and sure enough, Maron was sleeping peacefully beside her dad.

"What the-" Vegeta breathed. "She-she was out there stealing my pizza."

Krillin yawned. "Sounds like a real weird dream."

"Dream? That shit was real, you idiot."

Marron gave him a wink, eyes closed the minute Krillin turned around.

"She winked!" Vegeta snarled. "She's faking!"

"Geesh. When was the last time you took your temperature?"

"I'm not delirious! She-"

"Don't yell in here." Krillin hissed. "It took me hours to get her to sleep."

"But she's not asleep!"

"Look, Vegeta, I told Bulma I'd help you out, but you're acting like a lunatic."

"How-how dare you! I-"

"Vegeta," Krillin said sharply. "I spent eight hours with three kids and one you, so unless you're dying on the floor, please, I beg of you, don't wake up my daughter with your crazy ravings. If you have to hit me for this, do it tomorrow, okay? Do it tomorrow. For now, go to sleep. I'm begging you. Go to bed."

Vegeta clenched his fists. "Fine. Fine, I'll go. But if I see your daughter sneaking up on me again-"

"You'll _what_, Vegeta? Beat up a kid?"

"You-I-"

"I didn't think so."

"You-you little-" Vegeta spluttered. "I'm leaving. I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight then."

"Shut up."

Vegeta stormed into his room, cursing aloud when he realized he left his cold pizza on the kitchen counter. He thought about going back, but if he saw that blonde monster again he'd lose it.

So much for his late night snack.

He crawled back into bed, angry and sick.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Krillin woke up to Marron tapping his face. "Daddy! Wake up! It's morning!"

He rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Hi…sweetie. Want some breakfast."

"Yeah!"

He yelped when her fist hit his stomach. "Okay, take it easy kid. That kinda hurt."

Actually…he did feel a bit nauseous. Not to mention the growing headache. Man, if Vegeta got him sick…

He threw on one of the Hawaiian shirt 18 got him and a pair of pants, only to throw on the same police hoodie and a roughed up cap. He then helped Marron change into another dress, this one being red and sparkly. Next he got to work on brushing her hair, which she either loved or hated, and luckily, today she loved it. She giggled as he clipped back her bangs, the toddler leaping off the bed and hurling herself out of the bedroom.

He was thankful to see her so happy, rather then cranky, but watching her unleash so much energy made him tired.

Strangely tired.

Again, if Vegeta got him sick, he'd be very annoyed.

His cell-phone rang again and he picked it up. "Krillin this time."

Yikes-his voice sounded scratchy.

"Oh Thank God." Bulma huffed. "If that man hangs up on me again, tell him he won't have a wife to hang up on."

"Yes, Bulma."

"Well? How is he?"

"Oh…well…"

Should he tell her he thought Vegeta was delirious?

"Umm…he's fine. I haven't seen him yet this morning, so I'll keep you updated."

"You don't sound sure." She accused. "What's he doing?"

"Doing? I-I really don't know Bulma. I'm assuming he's asleep."

"Asleep? Fine. But when I call again later I better have some news on that idiot-honest ones-you got that?"

"Yes, Bulma…"

Her voice shifted to concern. "Hey, your voice sounds kind of weird. You're not getting sick too, are ya?"

"Oh come on, Bulma, you know I don't get sick."

"If you say so. Well, keep an eye out for Goku. He's going to use instant transmission later to drop off some of my bags."

"Will do."

She hung up without saying goodbye, which wasn't new, and Krillin shoved his phone into his pocket. He winced from the pressure in his skull.

"Vegeta…You infectious monster…"

He heard chaos from the kitchen, sighing as he fled the guest room to find Marron with a bowl on her head, and Trunks staring down stupidly at the spilled cereal on the floor.

And Goten was..stuck to the ceiling? With Pizza in his hands?

Goten took a bite, humming cheerfully as pizza sauce dripped onto the floor. Krillin stared, wide-eyed. "How-how is he-"

"I dared him to glue himself to the ceiling." Trunks smirked. "It's quite the work of art, isn't it?"

"And the cereal?"

"I was dared to pour it all into my mouth in one go and wound up spilling. But I think Goten on the ceiling is much funnier."

"Get him down." Krillin scolded. "Goku's coming over later and I doubt he wants to find his youngest son stuck to the ceiling."

Actually, Goku would find it hilarious, but Trunks didn't need to know that. Trunks groaned, but flew up to save his friend anyway. They crash-landed on the floor with a thud.

Marron grabbed Krillin's leg. "Breakfast?"

"Huh? Right. Sorry, sweetie. I'll get you something."

Right after he picked up the cereal…

He cleaned up the mess, Goten and Trunks leaving the room to go play somewhere else. Marron waddled over to help. "We don't have to eat the floor food, do we daddy?"

"Oh, no." Krillin laughed. "I won't make you eat off the floor."

_"What's with this mess?"_ Vegeta hissed.

Krillin picked up the last of the cereal, flinching at the sight of the Saiyan's paler face. "My goodness, Vegeta, you look even worse than yesterday. Were you hit by a truck?"

Vegeta glared.

"I uh-I-I only meant you look sicker."

"Everything hurts. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurts, and everything else."

"O-okay."

"Everything. And I mean _everything."_

Krillin fumbled with the cereal box. "G-good to know."

"Your human diseases are annoying. I'd rather die slowly in a vat of boiling acid then catch your stupid colds."

"Did you have to specify it as boiling? Isn't…the fact it's acid…deathly enough?"

"I want it to boil and melt me."

Krillin raised an eyebrow. "Do you feel okay?"

"I just said I didn't? Tch. Idiot."

He sneezed out a spark of Ki, Krillin shrieking as it blasted the box in his hands. More cereal littered the floor, and Krillin stared. "Wh-when did _that_ start?"

"I don't know…after your terrifying daughter stole my food?"

"She's not scary."

"Tell me that again once she starts stalking you."

"She's my daughter. She-already follows me everywhere."

Vegeta scoffed. "It's because you spoil her."

"I do not. I'm just-I just-spend a lot of time with her, that's all."

"A spoiled brat then."

"Quit that. Can't you see that's rude?"

Vegeta grunted in disinterest as he opened the fridge, drinking right out of the carton of milk.

No wonder Bulma was always so angry.

She lived with…well this.

Marron giggled and pointed at Vegeta. "Hey look! He still looks awful!"

Krillin dropped the cereal box completely. "We-we pointed that out already sweetie. Why-why don't you-" He handed her an apple. "Why don't you have fruit for breakfast?"

"Hmm? Okay!"

She nibbled on it and skipped towards the couch.

"That girl of yours…" Vegeta squinted. "She's sneaky."

"Vegeta, she's a little kid. They're all like that."

"They all sneak around and take people's food?"

"Yeah, hasn't Trunks taken your stuff?"

Vegeta scowled, crushing the empty milk carton. "He took something?"

"What? No-no. Forget that." He rubbed his itchy eyes. "I was only talking about how-well-we're the parents, right? Anything that's ours is theirs, so I wasn't literally serious when I said he stole."

Vegeta sniffled, his eyes puffy and tired. "I bet your daughter took something. It's probably why she keeps coming to my room."

"Marron was in bed last night. She didn't take your food or any of your things."

"She did."

"Vegeta."

"Who cares if you believe me or not? Trunks knows better then to harass me like that."

"She's not harassing you." Krillin laughed. "At least, not on purpose. She's young and likes attention. All kids need it."

"Tch. I give Trunks plenty of attention, and I won't smother him like you do to yours."

"I don't do that.

"Whatever. Who cares. I didn't even want to talk to you. I only came out here to check on my pizza."

"Your…pizza?"

"Never mind. Forget it. I came to take the medicine."

Krillin's head pounded. "You could take it to your room, you know. You don't have to keep coming out here."

"And taint my room with its wretched presence? I don't think so."

Krillin's phone buzzed _again_-because everyone wanted to call him apparently-and he answered it without even looking.

"You've got Krillin.

"Hey Krillin! What's up, bud!"

Krillin nearly fell over with how loud the voice was.

It was his younger coworker, Kevin.

"Hello, Kevin…" He said with an earache, "Aren't you on duty?"

Kevin was one of the younger cops. He was about as tall as Goku, but was large and stocky enough to give crooks a run for their money. And any chance he got he was following Krillin around and slapping his back. He was the one that left 82 drunk voice-mails on his phone, as well as the one who called Krillin, "Little Buddy."

Which others used too.

And he hated it.

He didn't hate Kevin, per say, because he was a great cop and a cool guy. But he was stupid.

And loud.

Very loud.

He was so loud that other precincts from across the states probably heard him whisper. In other words, despite the nice fellow he was, he knew how to be annoying.

"Nah, man!" Kevin laughed. "I'm not on duty! I'm hangin' with some buds!" He let out a whoop-probably to get a girl's attention-then laughed again. "Hey, Little Buddy! If you're not working you should come on down!"

Krillin pulled the phone away from his face and groaned.

He definitely didn't want to have to drag home a drunk Kevin.

He answered back. "Sorry, no can do."

"Wife keeping you home?"

"No, Kevin, it's-"

"Whos' Kevin?" Vegeta snorted.

"Not now, Vegeta."

"His name is stupid."

"I said not now."

Vegeta grumbled from boredom, Krillin covering his ear when Kevin hollered. "Come on, Krillin! You're my go-to pal! My partner in crime! Well uh-not crime! But you get it! Come on! It will be fun! Some of our friends are here! I could even come pick you up before I get wasted! Like-like in my car though!" He cackled. "Not-not like a joke on your height! Like-like I can literally come drive to get you! Not lift you! You get it?"

He got it.

He was just too tired and achy to deal with it.

Krillin rubbed his temples. "I'm actually babysitting, Kevin. I can't come, but I'll see you at work-"

"Babysitting?! You found kids smaller then you?!"

Krillin flushed, and Kevin let out another laugh. "I was kidding! I was kidding! So am I coming to get you or?"

"I'll see you at work, Kevin."

"But-"

"I'll see you at work."

Krillin hung up, face in his hands. "Man, he never let's anything go."

"He's loud." Vegeta scowled past bits of cereal. "Get him fired."

"I'm not gonna-"

There was a flash, Krillin and Vegeta startled when Goku appeared before them, bags upon bags in his arms. "Hey guys!"

He dropped the bags onto the floor, cringing when he heard a shatter.

Vegeta scowled. "Did you break my wife's things?"

"What? No, no, uh-it's supposed to make that noise."

Goku scooped up the bags in a panic, rushing to set them on the kitchen table. "Hey, Krillin! How's the babysitting?"

"Well," Krillin smiled, "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"I meant with Vegeta."

Vegeta swung a fist, Goku dodging it with a laugh. "I was kidding! I was kidding!"

"I'm dying of illness," Vegeta spat, "Quit making jokes about it."

"Aw, come on, Vegeta, you aren't dying."

"Well, I feel like it."

"Do you really?" Krillin asked. "You weren't that bad off yesterday."

"Well now I'm dying."

"Hey that reminds me," Goku grinned, "Bulma wanted me to tell you to make sure you're taking your medicine."

"I. Am."

"Are you?"

Vegeta swung another fist, Goku dodging a second time.

"Tell my crazy wife to leave me alone to die."

"A cold won't kill you."

"Shut up!"

Vegeta grabbed his medicine bottle and stormed out of the kitchen.

"So, Goku," Krillin smirked, "How's the shopping?"

Goku paled. "Well uh-kinda terrifying when Chi Chi and Bulma are your slave drivers."

"Oh, I bet."

"Honestly, Krillin, why do they need so many different lipsticks? Bulma bought four of the same color."

"But were they the same brand?"

"Brand? That matters?"

Krillin nodded. "Yeah, makeup is like that. People like to get different brands for it, you know? One color by one person and one color by another."

"Really? How do you know?"

"My ex really liked that stuff. I saw her buy lots of it. Believe me."

"What about 18?"

Krillin smiled. "She mostly buys things for Marron rather than herself."

Krillin's phone rang (again) but Goku grabbed his arm before he could answer.

"Is it Bulma?"

"Well, you didn't give me a chance to look."

"I can't go back. I just got here."

"Goku."

Goku let him go, whimpering in the background.

Krillin answered, and it was Chi Chi.

"So, you let Goten have ice cream? He told me all about it when I called."

"Wh-what?"

"That could ruin his digestive system! I can't believe you!"

"Uh-sorry?"

"Tell Goku to get back here for our couple's session!"

Krillin raised a brow. "Couple's session?"

"He's hiding behind you, isn't he?!" Chi Chi snarled. "Tell him to get back here before I get mad. And don't give my son, junk, understand?"

Krillin swallowed, "Y-yes, Chi Chi."

"Goku has ten seconds!"

She hung up, Krillin left flabbergasted. "Geesh, she never ceases to terrify me. What's this couple's session?"

Goku shivered. "I don't know, but I'm scared of it. You-you tell Goten I'll see him the next time I drop off bags, okay? I-I'm afraid of what Chi Chi will do if I'm not back in time."

Krillin smirked. "Sure, Buddt. Have fun."

Goku zapped back, Krillin chuckling as he vanished. He went back to sit with Marron, the little girl halfway through her apple.

He coughed.

"Sick?" Marron asked.

"No, sweetie, I'm not sick. It's just a cough."

"Oh. Okay."

She took another bite of her apple, then plopped it in his lap. "I'm done. Can I play now?"

"Huh? Oh, sure."

He almost hadn't heard her with how cloudy his head felt. She scurried back towards the bedrooms-probably looking for the boys-and Krillin bit into the rest of her apple.

Might as well finish it off.

There was a scream, Krillin tumbling off the couch in fright.

Vegeta tore into the room, nostrils flaring, "Your kid's in my room again! Get her out!"

"Again? Sorry…I'll get her."

He followed with an apologetic sigh, squinting in confusion when Marron wasn't anywhere to be found. "Vegeta, I know she came in here once before, but last night and now this? You're being ridiculous."

Vegeta paced his room, eyes wide. "She was in here. I saw her a minute ago. _Your_ daughter was on this floor, laughing-mocking me-making a fool out of me."

Krillin rubbed his temples. "Maybe you saw her follow the boys somewhere…"

"I did no such thing. She came in here and asked me to play a game and then she vanished-she vanished like the sneaky brat she is. You know what," Vegeta opened his closet, tossing clothes aside, "I knew you should have never procreated with an Android." He kicked it shut. "Monsters-all three of you-all three of you are plotting to make my life miserable."

"Do I need to call Bulma?"

Vegeta whipped around. "Don't bother my wife with this. She's dealing with enough."

"Dealing with-" Krillin stared. "Dealing with what? What are you talking about? Is she…not okay?"

Shit.

"I meant me." He scoffed. "I've annoyed her enough, and whining about your daughter is the last thing she needs from me. Just get out."

"Fine. I guess get me if you need something?"

Vegeta snorted, and Krillin left with an eye roll.

Typical Vegeta-flipping out over the tiniest things.

Marron came running up to him from Trunks room, coloring book in hand. "Color?"

There she was-obviously _not_ stalking Vegeta.

He smiled. "Yeah, let's go color."

He followed her back to the living room, coloring book in hand.

He heard footsteps, Vegeta following. "You're coming with us?"

"I came to make sure she stays away from me."

Krillin opened a box of crayons. "You're paranoid, Vegeta. As I said, she wasn't in your room. No need to threaten our lives."

Krillin sat back down on the couch, a pale-faced and angry Vegeta giving his daughter a death glare.

Marron, meanwhile, was coloring.

"Stop staring her down." Krillin snapped. "She's not a criminal."

"She's sneaking around like one."

"Go to bed, Vegeta."

"What are you doing?"

The question caught Krillin off guard. "Me?"

"Yeah. You." He pointed at Krillin's work group chat. "That. What's that?"

"Oh. This? Do you mean the texting?"

Vegeta raised a brow, and Krillin flinched. "Do you not text Bulma? Like ever?"

"Tch. I only have a phone because she forced me to get one. Who needs to text?"

"A lot of people do."

Vegeta didn't look impressed.

"You know," Krillin smirked, "A lot of people like it because it's silent conversation."

"Silent conversation?"

"With texting you don't have to hear anyone's voice, and it's more socially acceptable to ignore them, you know? You can get their message and not have to talk back."

Vegeta squinted. "So let me get this straight. Say Bulma wants to nag me or something. She could text me, and I could answer her without having to physically hear the rage in her voice?"

"Yeah, exactly."

Vegeta squinted again at Marron, who was still coloring. "Okay, show me."

"What?"

Vegeta grabbed his phone. "Show me how to Taxt."

Krillin snatched it back. "Text. T-E-X-T. And no, I don't think I'll teach you how if you're going to keep glaring at my daughter."

"I'm being harassed by her and goo is leaking out of my nose. You owe me, you little shit."

Krillin stiffened. "Okay, fine. You don't have to throw a fit."

"That's more like it."

Vegeta plopped down next to him, Krillin bouncing a few inches from the weight difference. "Alright, I took Bulma's gross medicine, so make this good."

Krillin rolled his eyes-mostly cranky from his pounding headache-but he tried not to lose his mind as he pulled up his messages. "Okay, hand me your phone."

"My phone?"

"If you want to text, I need to show you how to do it on your own phone."

Vegeta grumbled and handed it to him, Krillin going straight to Vegeta's contacts-which was literally two people.

Bulma and Chi Chi.

The fact Chi Chi was on there actually surprised him. "You have Chi Chi?"

"Play dates with the kids…obviously Bulma's idea."

"Ah right. Well, I'm going to add my number so I can text myself and show you how to do it."

"Whatever."

He put in his number, then pulled up a blank text screen. He typed, "Hello," and sent it. He showed the screen to Vegeta. "See? It's that easy. Now you try."

Vegeta snatched back his phone. "Does Kakarot text?"

"Goku?" Krillin laughed. "He can barely make phone calls."

Vegeta looked pleased. "Idiot." He typed in a message with his finger-kinda like how a mom does-and Krillin's phone dinged.

He glanced at it with a sigh. "I'm not setting Marron loose in the forest."

"Come on, she'd love it."

"Try sending something that doesn't involve me disowning my child-something positive."

Krillin's phone dinged, and he looked again. "You sent me knife emojis."

"I could have stabbed you in person, but instead, I sent these. I find that positive."

"Very funny."

"I'd like to see Kakarot try this-the imbecile."

"I've seen it," Krillin chuckled, "It's something."

"Hi Vegeta!"

Marron was by the Saiyan's leg and he jumped, "See? There she is!"

Krillin smirked. "She's been in here this whole time. I don't think that counts as coming after you."

"Wait, hold up."

Krillin's phone dinged and he sighed again. "Why did you send me a picture of it? I can literally see her."

"Tch. For proof. So that when my body is found, you'll all know who did it."

"She's a kid," Krillin sighed, "She can't kill you."

"If she's the daughter of Android 18, heck yeah she'll kill me. I bet marrying you was a set up."

"For the love of-wait, you already figured out how to take pictures?"

"Of course." Vegeta scoffed as he waved his phone. "I'm not a moron like the rest of you. I'm taking early mugshots of this kid."

"Marron, say boo."

"Boo!"

Vegeta jumped again, mumbling in annoyance as he got up from the couch. "You're a sick little twerp, you got that?"

Krillin grinned. "You're the one scared of a little girl."

Vegeta clenched his fists with a stutter and stormed out of the room, giving Marron the opportunity to sit next to her dad.

Krillin's phone dinged again, and he clenched it. "Killing me won't help your paranoia!"

"Go die again!"

A door slammed, Marron curling up on Krillin's lap.

()()()

Vegeta paced around his room, chugging down the second dose of the shitty medicine. Maybe the medicine was making him overly paranoid?

Or maybe Krillin's kid was just a brat that was out to get him?

Or maybe…this was a sign he wasn't ready for another kid?

Damn.

Where'd that last one come from?

It was that medicine.

It was making him hate himself.

He kicked his bed frame, body aching as much as it had before the medicine. He sniffed, wiping his runny nose with his arm. Here he was, a Saiyan Prince, infected by a mere human illness yet again-a dumb Prince scared to have another baby.

No wonder Bulma ran off.

He was a mess.

He was an angry, sick, and selfish mess.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: This is an Alternate Timeline Fic where Bulla isn't born until after the Tournament of Power

Chapter 3

Krillin felt a hand shake his arm, and he woke up with a start-mostly because he didn't remember falling asleep. His head ached, and his body was sore.

Marron's coloring book was draped over his leg, and Trunks was at his side. "Sorry to wake you up. You…looked real tired."

Krillin scrambled to check his phone.

1:35 pm.

He was asleep for over three hours.

There was a missed call from work, missed calls from 18, and a whiny text from Vegetaa.

"Hey where's-"

"Marron fell asleep on my bed. She's fine."

"Fine?" Krillin breathed. "Did something happen?"

Trunks looked hesitant.

"You can tell me."

"Goten threw up."

"Threw up?"

"Yeah…I think he's sick."

Krillin leapt from the couch. "Take me to him. Is he in your room?"

"No, he's still in the bathroom."

Shit.

"Alright. I'll take care of it."

"Will he be okay?"

"I'm sure he will. I'll go check on him."

Krillin followed Trunks to the bathroom, Goten lying on the floor holding his stomach. The boy's face was pale and his nose was runny.

He looked miserable.

Krillin knelt beside him. "Hey, Goten, you okay?"

"No." He whimpered. "I don't feel good."

Krillin felt his forehead.

The kid had a fever.

"So is he okay?" Trunks asked.

"He has a fever, so I'll need to call his mom."

Maybe it wasn't a cold-maybe it was the flu.

Damn it, if Vegeta was giving everybody the flu he'd lose it.

He pat Goten's arm. "I'm going to call your mom, okay?"

Goten nodded, Krillin calling her, but getting put to voicemail.

That was odd.

No Service?

He hung up.

"She didn't answer?" Goten sniffled.

"No, I guess a cell tower is down. I'm sure she'll call back when she can. Why don't you go lie down?"

"Okay…"

He helped him to one of the guest bed, and set a waste-bin beside it. Goten fell asleep almost immediately.

"I don't get it." Trunks frowned. "One minute we were playing and the next minute he was throwing up. He didn't look sick at all until then."

"Did Marron throw up too?"

"Nope. She just laid down in my bed to take a nap I guess, so I let her sleep. What about you? Are you sick too?"

"Me?" Krillin laughed. "What makes you think that?"

"I don't know…your voice sounds weird and you seem kinda tired. That's how Dad was right before he got sick."

He mentally cursed Vegeta.

Then asked, "What about you, Trunks? Do you feel sick?"

He shrugged. "I feel fine. Do you think…my dad is getting everyone sick?"

"Probably…I should have watched you guys at my house..but I didn't want to leave him all alone with Bulma gone…"

"It's not your fault." Trunks sighed, "We didn't exactly make it any easier for you."

"Don't blame yourself. Besides," Krillin watched as Goten slept restlessly, "It's not your Dad's fault either. It's just a situation that stinks."

"What do we do now?"

Krillin sighed. "We wait for Chi Chi or your mom to call me back? But with the lines down, I don't know how long we'll have to wait. Until then, it's up to me to take care of you guys."

"Can't you call 18?"

"I probably can't with the cell service down…"

"Hey Krillin?"

"Hmm?"

Trunks was rubbing his stomach. "R-remeber when I said I felt fine?"

"Don't tell me…"

Trunks threw up right on the floor.

()()()

Three Saiyans down, and two humans surviving.

Marron was still taking a nap, except this time Krillin moved her to their room so that Trunks could have his bed. He cleaned up the vomit in Goten's room, and he plopped down on the couch in defeat.

The two young Saiyans were asleep, but he still couldn't get hold of anyone from his phone-not even from the house phone. His body felt hot, his hands felt clammy, and he wiped sweat off his forehead.

"Don't you dare…" He scolded to himself, "Don't you dare get sick…"

"Are you talking to yourself?" Vegeta's voice huffed. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"Vegeta? Weren't you asleep?"

"I was training."

"Training?" Krillin gasped. "You're not supposed to do that."

"Like I care." He dug through the pantry, eyes squinting. "Why's it so quiet?"

"Why's it so-"

Oh. He didn't know.

"Trunks and Goten are sick." He answered. "They threw up."

"Threw up?" Vegeta scoffed. "Two Saiyans?"

"Two _kids."_

"Tch. Throwing up from being around you, no doubt."

"Vegeta, I know you're not used to catching illness and all that, but I'd appreciate it if you weren't an asshole for once?"

Vegeta pulled chips out of the pantry. "What are you going on about?"

"Your kid is sick and you're over here being a jerk about it."

"What? You think I don't care?"

"Maybe you do care, but you act like you don't."

Vegeta tore open his bag of chips, snarling. "Listen here, you little shit. I don't have to tell you if I care or not. You know why? It's none of your business."

"None of my business?" Krillin scoffed, "None of my business? You've got to be kidding."

"Quit your whining. I have a headache."

"Who doesn't?! We all have headaches! No thanks to you!"

_"What_ are you implying?"

"None of my business, apparently."

Vegeta squinted. "Did Bulma call or something?"

Krillin eyed the kitchen knives, realized they'd be no help to him, and sighed. "No. I can't get a hold of her. The line is down for some reason."

"I'm going back to my room."

"Of course you are."

Vegeta whipped around. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Krillin snorted as he dug around for ibuprofen. "Just ignore me. Do whatever you want."

He looked paler than usual, but Vegeta ignored him like he requested and went back to his room.

He pulled out his own phone to call Bulma-and sure enough, it didn't work.

"Stupid." He muttered, shoving it back in his pocket.

"Hi Vegeta!"

He stared, Marron on his bed, coloring book in hand. She held up a poorly colored picture. "I drew this for you!"

Not _this_ again.

"Shoo." Vegeta hissed. "Go back to your dad."

"Daddy's tired."

"Do I look like I care about that?"

She seemed confused at his answer, then started to color in her book with a laugh.

Oh no she didn't.

Vegeta scooped her off the bed, flinching in disgust when she hugged his arm.

"Don't get used to this." He snarled. "I'm taking you to your dad."

"Okay!"

He wanted to tell her to shut up, but the small decency he had from living on earth told him not to. He stormed out of his room as he'd done everyday at this point, rage boiling when Krillin wasn't in the living room where he left him.

He was tempted to toss Marron on the couch and leave, but he found himself searching for the idiot instead. At least this time he had wriggling proof his daughter was harassing him.

She was in his arms after all.

"Dad?"

Vegeta turned, Trunks rubbing his eyes and looking like death itself.

"Trunks? What are you…doing out of bed?"

"I can't sleep. I feel bad."

"Did you…throw up again?"

"No, but I feel worse than earlier. Can't I stay with you in your room?"

Normally he didn't do that unless Bulma let him in, but he found himself saying, "Yeah."

"Really?"

"Don't make me change my mind." He seethed. "Just do it if you want."

Trunks shuffled into his room, Vegeta letting out a painful sigh. Marron cuddled his arm again, and he felt the face of death look him dead in the eye.

All this cute nonsense was driving him up a wall and into his own grave. How dare she look at him with those big ole eyes.

"Where's daddy?" She asked.

Oh yeah.

He was looking for the idiot.

Vegeta charged into their guest room, groaning in defeat when he wasn't there. He knew Krillin was small and hard to spot but this was ridiculous.

Unless he stepped on him.

Vegeta checked his shoe.

Nope.

No crushed losers.

He heard a chorus of coughing, following the noise until he found himself in Goten's room.

Krillin was in the middle of giving him medicine.

He looked up in surprise. "Marron?"

"Daddy!"

She wormed out of Vegeta's arms and ran to him, clinging to his leg with a cheery smile.

Goten swallowed his medicine with a grimace, Krillin scooping Marron into his lap. "And where were you?"

"With Uncle Vegeta."

"Uncle Vegeta?"

Vegeta turned red. "She was in my room again."

"Oh yeah? Sorry about that. She must really like you."

"I'm sure she doesn't."

Krillin smirked. "It doesn't make you any less tough if she does."

"She doesn't. So shut up."

"You're burning." Marron commented.

"Hmm?"

"You're burning, daddy."

She was right, but he laughed it off. "Nah, I'm fine. Why don't you go color and I'll come play with you when I'm done with Goten, okay?"

"But Daddy-"

"I'll…" Vegeta ground his teeth. "I'll watch her…"

"What?"

Vegeta shifted uncomfortably. "She obviously won't leave me alone. I might as well…color with her. Once."

"Really? You'd tend to her?"

No, he wouldn't, but here he was offering.

"She might get rowdy." Krillin warned. "Are you sure you feel well enough to?"

"Hanging out with your stealthy monster of a daughter is better than cleaning vomit, so yeah. I can do it."

Krillin smirked, "Hey Marron, can you hang out with Vegeta for a second?"

"Okay!"

Marron ran up to grab his leg, Vegeta holding back the urge to kick her off. She eventually let go long enough for him to drag his tired body into the living room. She frolicked towards some toys, Vegeta pulling out his cell phone.

Ten missed calls from Bulma-calls he couldn't answer.

Shit.

Hr tried to use that texting again, but nothing happened.

He rolled his eyes and shoved it back in his pocket.

Useless-absolutely useless.

If they needed to reach him so badly, why not send Kakarot?

The fool could teleport for crying out loud.

Unless his instant transmissions was messed up for some reason?

Whatever.

Who cared.

Chi Chi was probably forcing him to stay with her.

He sat down, growling internally when Marron crawled onto his lap and turned on the television.

Why did this kid need so much attention?

Obviously her idiot parents spoiled her.

She rested her head on his chest, captivated by what was on. The action wasn't completely awful, but it definitely wasn't something he was used to.

Bulma pretty much tended to Trunk on her own until they married, yet here he was, watching someone else's kid.

Wasn't 18 supposed to come pick her up?

It didn't look like it.

She curled up into a ball, Vegeta biting the inside of his cheek to control his temper. After a little while though, it seemed to calm him down.

No yelling.

No training.

No medicine.

Just his thoughts, this kid, and a quiet TV.

Krillin came to sit on the other end of the couch, face still pale as he glanced at Marron. "So she fell asleep on ya, huh?"

What?

Sure enough, the kid was fast asleep.

"Like I said," Krillin teased, "She must really like you."

"Whatever. I've just gotten _fat _from not being able to train."

"It's not a bad thing, you know. Kids are supposed to be good judges of character."

"Your daughter isn't."

"You've saved lives before, Vegeta. She's not too far off."

"Shut up."

Krillin sneezed, and Vegeta stared as if he had grown two heads. "Did you…sneeze?"

"Uh. Yeah?"

"How can you sneeze?"

"I caught your cold I think? Which I really hope isn't the flu."

"But how do you-catch a cold?"

Krillin shrugged. "Well, with germs-"

"No. How do _you_ catch a cold?"

Krillin blinked. "What do you mean?"

Vegeta sighed loudly. "You don't have a nose."

"I know?"

"Idiot. How do you catch a cold without a nose?"

Krillin stared at the floor. "I guess nobody…nose."

Crickets.

"Why did anyone ever bring you back to life?"

"I'm a delight."

"Alright, get your kid off me. I can't take anymore of this."

Krillin gripped his stomach. "Oh. Shit…"

"Oh shit?"

"Oh shi-"

Krillin threw up on the floor.

()()()

Android 18 flew threw the air, glaring in annoyance at her phone.

"Still no service?" 17 asked from beside her.

"As soon as I make the call, my phone freaks out."

"Hmm. Well, that's inconvenient."

"No power lines are down." 18 said with a scowl. "Could it be related to that flash of light we saw in the sky?"

"You mean the strange red flash of light in a perfect clear blue sky? Yes, I think it might."

The two androids continued to soar through the air, touching down on the roof of a building once they made it to the city.

18 squinted, glancing at the street below. "You're sure it headed in this direction?"

"I think so."

"It's awfully near the mall."

"Is that important?"

18 nodded. "My friend Bulma is shopping there. If she gets hurt-"

"She won't." 17 insisted as he pulled an electronic device from his pocket. "This was given to me my first day as a ranger. Sometimes weird creatures show up on the island-alien-like creatures-and we use these to find them."

18 scoffed. "What? You think a weird alien pet is crawling through the mall? He won't find any good discounts."

"I don't know, 18." He spat. "My radio sent me weird signals, and now this? It has to be something."

"I doubt it's that Frieza guy again…" She huffed, "He's too dramatic to simply flash some lights and hide himself."

"It's been awhile since the Tournament. I wouldn't blame him if he popped out again. Why? Would you kill him?"

The wind picked up around them, and she cracked her knuckles.

"If he pops out to hurt anyone, you bet I'll kill him."

A beep was heard from the device in 17's hand, and he grinned. "Well, my dear sister, it looks like you and I are about to find our culprit."


End file.
